To change

This is a tribute to change. To moving onward and forward despite of everything, because you can and you must.

我是一只小小小小鸟

想要飞呀飞却飞也飞不高

我寻寻觅觅寻寻觅觅一个温暖的怀抱

这样的要求算不算太高？

(translation below)

A song by Li Zongsheng that I am appropriating for the state of my heart today. When something really big happens, it is normal to seek solace in the words of others. My heart was shattered, and the rush of emotions that have been washing over me since has left me reeling. I feel like dying and living and dying and living. I feel raw and tender, yet so brittle if you touch me I would break. 

I am like the little bird in the song. I try and try, but it never feels like it's enough. I am only me. Only human. And what is it that I seek? A warm embrace. The song implores: "Is this kind of request too much to ask?" It isn't. It is the most simple thing we could ever ask for, and yet sometimes the hardest thing to find. Love is everywhere, and we can seek it and seek it, but it comes to us without asking, without our permission. And you will never know what it's like until you experience it for yourself. 

Change comes from within ourselves, not from the pressure others place on us. So this is an ode to all of the little birds struggling to fly, struggling to find that one thing they are desperately seeking. You must keep flying, keep searching, keep moving. Move on. 

So that is where I stand today. Tall, on my own two feet, wind at my back, sun shining in my hair. I'm flying with all my might, even if it isn't very high. Because I want to be strong, I want to embody change, to show that I can grow up and move on, that I am mature and capable. Just you try and stop me. 

(Quick and dirty translation:)

I am a tiny, tiny, tiny bird

I want to fly and fly, but when I fly I can't fly high

I'm desperately seeking, seeking one warm embrace

Is this kind of request too much to ask?