Cool things

One: Coldplay is in Manchester November and December! (I won't be there though)

Two: I am the 80,171,768,336th person to live since there were people to count, and when I was born I was number 5,173,941,609 on the planet. (source: BBC News)

Three: Reading lyrics. Passion Pit lyrics are creepy and amazing. here. Check out Moth's Wings, Let Your Love Grow Tall, Sleepyhead, and Seaweed Song.

"I think I see my life
He bows all slyly and gentle-like
He's never had the right
I've never lived without
His sad and jealous eyes"
-Let Your Love Grow Tall

"You come beating like moth's wings
Spastic and violently
Whipping me into a storm
Shaking me down to the core

But you've run away from me
And you've left me shimmering
Like diamond wedding rings
Spinning dizzily down on the floor

But you're just like your father
Buried deep under the water
You're resting on your laurels
And stepping on my toes
Whose side are you on?
What side is this anyways?
Put down your sword and crown
And come lay with me on the ground"
-Moth's Wings

And here is Coldplay's "Princess of China" which also features the vocals of Rihanna:

"Once upon a time, somebody ran
somebody ran away saying:
Fast as I can, I've got to go, I've got to go
Once upon a time, we fell apart
you're holding in your hands
the two halves of my heart, oh oh, oh oh
Once upon a time we're burning bright
but all we ever seem to do is fight
on and on,  and on and on and on
Once upon a time on the same side
once upon a time on the same side of the same game
oh why'd you have to go, have to go and throw it all in my face?
I could have been a princess, you'd be a king
could have had a castle and worn a ring, but no, you let me go
You stole my star, you stole my star
Cause you really hurt me, oh you really hurt me
cause you really hurt me, oh you really hurt me"

To change

This is a tribute to change. To moving onward and forward despite of everything, because you can and you must.

我是一只小小小小鸟

想要飞呀飞却飞也飞不高

我寻寻觅觅寻寻觅觅一个温暖的怀抱

这样的要求算不算太高？

(translation below)

A song by Li Zongsheng that I am appropriating for the state of my heart today. When something really big happens, it is normal to seek solace in the words of others. My heart was shattered, and the rush of emotions that have been washing over me since has left me reeling. I feel like dying and living and dying and living. I feel raw and tender, yet so brittle if you touch me I would break. 

I am like the little bird in the song. I try and try, but it never feels like it's enough. I am only me. Only human. And what is it that I seek? A warm embrace. The song implores: "Is this kind of request too much to ask?" It isn't. It is the most simple thing we could ever ask for, and yet sometimes the hardest thing to find. Love is everywhere, and we can seek it and seek it, but it comes to us without asking, without our permission. And you will never know what it's like until you experience it for yourself. 

Change comes from within ourselves, not from the pressure others place on us. So this is an ode to all of the little birds struggling to fly, struggling to find that one thing they are desperately seeking. You must keep flying, keep searching, keep moving. Move on. 

So that is where I stand today. Tall, on my own two feet, wind at my back, sun shining in my hair. I'm flying with all my might, even if it isn't very high. Because I want to be strong, I want to embody change, to show that I can grow up and move on, that I am mature and capable. Just you try and stop me. 

(Quick and dirty translation:)

I am a tiny, tiny, tiny bird

I want to fly and fly, but when I fly I can't fly high

I'm desperately seeking, seeking one warm embrace

Is this kind of request too much to ask?

Spur of the moment inspiration

I wanted my next post to be a deep and meaningful reflection on China and the life that I'm living here, but I don't have any of my notebooks with me, and I feel the urge to spill my guts anyway. So here's a stream-of-consciousness, half-baked, half-ripe little bit of what's going on on my head.

 I know I'm not the only one chasing China. Why do we do it? What is its draw? Of course, the answer is far more complicated than any one word or phrase. For some, learning Chinese is a gateway to a place that is as far away from "home" as possible. Running away is the motive. People have their own reasons for running away from home. But this is merely running away from something, not toward any particular goal. China is attractive merely in its exoticism and distance. For others, it is much more than that.

 There is the draw of China as a hub of business. There is money to be made here, and industry for developing. With the failing of the Western economies, China is seen as the next step. There is the draw of China's culture. I think this is my motive. Over two thousand years of profound history and culture puts even Europe to shame. When the Europeans were feuding and crusading, China was settled into itself, a rich nation, and self-sufficient. Although it was and still remains an agricultural country, the culture that emerges from the cities and scholars is worth considering. Obviously this country isn't perfect. Every place and people has "flaws". But that's what makes it interesting, no?

 I think today, on this cloudy "Manchester" day, I'm looking for inspiration. If I can't find it in China, where else can I possibly look?